changing direction

I was away from this blog for a month already.
This month was a real brain opener for me.
I have a lost feeling that I lived in seawater all my life but never seen the ocean. I have friends family and lover, still feel have no idea what I was loving. The strongest feeling I had lately was for the dog mocha. Unexpected little dog creature was naughty and giving at the same time. Everytime I think about us apart breaks my heart. This is the trait of future lonely woman. I am convinced I am going to be an old woman with many cats and die from my pets eating my flesh. Since Mocha like licking me so much.

So apparently I have good taste(from two of my bosses and surrounding "appraiser". I wonder if I can have better tongue then eyes... cause love eating. But having good taste is the problem. People that appreciate nice things has to be judgmental, we can not have taste without judgment. That means if i live as a nice person, I can not be Anna Wintour. That's the trade off.

Its very contradicting... I love people, but I do judge. Sometimes I notice people changed their haircut, but have trouble complimenting them. Can't hold off or say fake comments anymore. I read a blog, the blogger blogged about UGGs. I do agree, I don't understand why people wear them in summer, I don't understand how people found style in those, I don't understand the whole hype. I agreed with her. But she got so much harsh comments on them. So... why should we create such hate over style??

I have a lot of pride on my style, how I chose and the way I live my life. But it does not mean I should judge other. Now I'm having second thought on being a designer... I'm thinking of taking a master on landscape architecture. might be more interesting on making this world a better place and less hate.