quarter life crisis: quote from convo with Q

Queenie: u cant be bored
u just got this job
me: believe it or not
i'm so bored already
Queenie: hahaha
dim suen ar lei
me: idk
hahaha
soo bad
3:36 PM Queenie: haha
guess what i found
Queenie: Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:
me: lol
Queenie: boredom with social interactions
HAHAHA
that s us
me: give me the whole prep
3:37 PM Queenie: Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:

feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
confusion of identity
insecurity regarding the near future
insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
insecurity regarding present accomplishments
re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
disappointment with one's job
nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
tendency to hold stronger opinions
boredom with social interactions
loss of closeness to high school and college friends
financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
loneliness
desire to have children
a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
that explains why
aahha
me: omg
i'm total at that
but i'm a little late at 27
i have to blog this

again..

Trying to arrange my thoughts lately
all my ideas contradicts and really don't know what is my final goal
Do i love or do i lust.
Another reunion of he and I, another uneasy nights for me
It is not love nor guilt that I feel, it is a weird competition that we have
I wish to present that I am not nothing without you
That I will have work love and friends my life after you
But I stil feel like I have not match up to you
I still feel like my life seems shitty without you
I admit that it was everything that i dreamt of
and as the text i sent you before we break up. it is a fairy tale that does not belong to me
Maybe i felt it was too easy, maybe i want to work on my life with my own efforts
therefore i left you, i had to feel like i belong to myself, not borrowing my perfect life from you
But I am happy, but unhappy after I have to compare myself with you
maybe it is a good idea that we shall never meet again

O....

I went to bed a bit pissed at a friend last night. When I woke I could not believe how pissed I was at her, come to think of it there wasn't really anything major that warranted such a display of emotions. Maybe I am getting to that point again where my tolerance for humanity is getting low. The last time I had something like this I completely erased a lot of people from my life. Maybe they deserved it but I would not know now. I seem to get very detached from more people every year while making less new friends to replace the old once. I guess humanity is not much interesting to me anymore. There is a bitter taste in my mouth and it is slowly spreading.

I got to talking with you yesterday and our conversation moved into shagging and I was a bit surprised that no matter how many times we've talked about it you seem to tell me that you have never thought about us being together. I wonder if maybe its cause we have grown too close to each other or its because I kept this feeling for you this long with no return from you. I guess its getting to the point where I should overhaul my affection for you. Time has passed and affections have been voiced. You know where I stand and how I feel about you. I leave it here in your court for you to make the next move.

S.B.C

I started from scratch. Editing and writing out all the things that I have put on hold as a result of a silly excuse I gave to myself. A lot has happened and it is time I get off my 'feeling-sorry-for-myself' arse and start being as creative as I have always been. I am taking my project from print to the net so as not to keep dodging my fear. Maybe I can justify going to the net and look at it as an effort to stay 'Green' since it is the rage right now, but who the fuck am I kidding. I can not sit around and keep telling myself that I can't afford to go to print only to watch as my brain cells slowly rot and die. I have a gift, a talent, skill or whatever the fuck you want to call it and it is high-time I created something that is beautiful and fills my heart with sparkling bubbles. The storyboard is finished and its time to get this motion picture into full production. I am ranting to save my brain cells and for that we will call this episode 'save the brain cells'.

As a past advertising student..

and how much I did not like the Ad world. Focus Groups, target audience, every art director getting excited about some smart little things that they created. I was not longer in the scene but I still understand the amusement and passion behind the industry. Nowadays, everyone is concern about their privacy, everyone dislike advertising,seems like every product or every message that came from any brand is a monstrous thing!
So Facebook is validating privacy- yes again just like people that are concern with google and x amount of other companies.
I was really worried about iphone when I first got it. Look Apple and At&t would be about to know who i contact, where I live, where I go everyday. Every person email, phone call/text can be under surveillance. We will have no where to hide! If I do not have my phone, my communication with all people that I know will be non existence. It was a little frightening.
So that was my defensive arguments!

But I was rethinking this morning after reading facebook law suit and geneticly modified food??? Also my recent reading about our prices, above or below inflation.

We have 6.7 Billion in this world. Our resources are lowering and we have less energy, less food. We will soon eat up the whole entire planet. So now we have to concentrate on getting more food, conservation our energy source. I found that so closely related to advertising. It is funny to me that we blaming other people for the way we spend our money and resources. If there is no opportunity for another new phone or another new pairs of jeans, and if there is not desire in our human population, why! then why we spend the way we spend. Just because someone made something available, we have to get it? We changed our lives because we wanted to. We like the new cars, we like the new food. And we blame advertising for the way we want things because we can not control our own desires.

Now our consumption is snowballing, its hard not to blame on capitalism. We keep expecting bigger and bigger number in sales and in cheeseburger. Bigger yard, bigger apartment, better car, cheaper clothes. I don't blame for us to advance and to get more for what we spend. We are able to afford so much becasue goods are priced in the way that we believe we will have bigger sales and cheaper way to make everything. So can it be that we want more and we price things lower to attract customers to generate sales. Or we blame on advertising because we make things more desirable.

where is the love?