S.B.C

I started from scratch. Editing and writing out all the things that I have put on hold as a result of a silly excuse I gave to myself. A lot has happened and it is time I get off my 'feeling-sorry-for-myself' arse and start being as creative as I have always been. I am taking my project from print to the net so as not to keep dodging my fear. Maybe I can justify going to the net and look at it as an effort to stay 'Green' since it is the rage right now, but who the fuck am I kidding. I can not sit around and keep telling myself that I can't afford to go to print only to watch as my brain cells slowly rot and die. I have a gift, a talent, skill or whatever the fuck you want to call it and it is high-time I created something that is beautiful and fills my heart with sparkling bubbles. The storyboard is finished and its time to get this motion picture into full production. I am ranting to save my brain cells and for that we will call this episode 'save the brain cells'.

As a past advertising student..

and how much I did not like the Ad world. Focus Groups, target audience, every art director getting excited about some smart little things that they created. I was not longer in the scene but I still understand the amusement and passion behind the industry. Nowadays, everyone is concern about their privacy, everyone dislike advertising,seems like every product or every message that came from any brand is a monstrous thing!
So Facebook is validating privacy- yes again just like people that are concern with google and x amount of other companies.
I was really worried about iphone when I first got it. Look Apple and At&t would be about to know who i contact, where I live, where I go everyday. Every person email, phone call/text can be under surveillance. We will have no where to hide! If I do not have my phone, my communication with all people that I know will be non existence. It was a little frightening.
So that was my defensive arguments!

But I was rethinking this morning after reading facebook law suit and geneticly modified food??? Also my recent reading about our prices, above or below inflation.

We have 6.7 Billion in this world. Our resources are lowering and we have less energy, less food. We will soon eat up the whole entire planet. So now we have to concentrate on getting more food, conservation our energy source. I found that so closely related to advertising. It is funny to me that we blaming other people for the way we spend our money and resources. If there is no opportunity for another new phone or another new pairs of jeans, and if there is not desire in our human population, why! then why we spend the way we spend. Just because someone made something available, we have to get it? We changed our lives because we wanted to. We like the new cars, we like the new food. And we blame advertising for the way we want things because we can not control our own desires.

Now our consumption is snowballing, its hard not to blame on capitalism. We keep expecting bigger and bigger number in sales and in cheeseburger. Bigger yard, bigger apartment, better car, cheaper clothes. I don't blame for us to advance and to get more for what we spend. We are able to afford so much becasue goods are priced in the way that we believe we will have bigger sales and cheaper way to make everything. So can it be that we want more and we price things lower to attract customers to generate sales. Or we blame on advertising because we make things more desirable.

where is the love?

A Stall at the restart

Joyfully but painfully had to take a break at my new gig at DK. Somehow I got so so so sick and could not go in work on the first week. It was pretty embarassing.
My SIster had come into town. We had rest becasue i was too sick, and we were so lazy at home. It was the best time with her. Then we went sister shopping time and eating time and having fun time. My time is now without alcohol and nicotine! I think i'm quitting for good.
I love my sister.
Listening and designing. Pandora is the best work music
Going to see Feist with Candice tonight, finally....
I love her.

My shit is all over the place with dust, love and gross hair is where love does stop but always lingering

This grey period. I love grey, and black and white, but mostly grey.
The weather is beautiful, I went back and forth from NY to EL, it is all lovely, it was all about consuming food and clothing. All about drinking and partying in the most mellow way. We act like high school students and we sing like the end of the world.
Don't ever NOT work because my friend showed that he found the end of the internet. I don't know how he will survive doing this all day. I'd probably get so bored with life.
The next two weeks are all about music and shows.
I'll walk coco my dear friend's dog is a chow chow. He's big and happy! loves running around and i love running after him.
We'll have a love affair. I'm sorry D. It was meant to be!
work is just... blah now. I am excited and scare of my next place! but change was a must!

Life in B&W

No writing today. I am slowly getting the grove of been creative again. I had a digital moment last wknd and really enjoyed it. Tali stood me up for a shoot yesterday but it was expected of her. Why do I even bother. I am going to Coney Island today to shoot. I hope I can produce good work since I feel stuck shooting models which is quickly becoming a big bore. I need to get out of this country. I feel like I have a calling somewhere and need to get there with my trusted camera. So today I will create and create and create some more until I I have taking my hunger for creativity to a level where I am comfortable to create some more. Pencil, pen, ink all on paper. Start getting ready for my summer installation but I need to raise some capital for that. I have talked too much already and now I am started to get that bitter taste in my mouth again. I will try to make life beautiful in Black and White today.

minimal work

So after a week of partying and more coming this week. I managed to do my portfolio and landed the job I had longed for. I will miss every piece of drama and chaos here, but I feel I need to move on.
I wish i am a flake... cause then i don't have to spend so much money and time out. My throat is getting cratchy
I love being irresponsible today. and tomorrow and rest of the week. before i leave.
She know that my heart is not here anymore. I will miss my big food stealer... and rest of the crew. I always love my coworkers, althought at times i can't stay connected. Therefore LInkedin is still not really working for me.
I bought a bunch of shit! That's why i'm gonna sell a bunch of shit too...
Maybe I should get rid of the LV bags we own and just kept there...