MIA

Oct 2007 and 3months since I last posted. Well, as always things are still changing. I might have a surprise for you but I will not say until it is definite. I have spoken with you about so many things this few weeks and had a very strong craving for you that left me exhausted. I need to see you and be with you just feel you next to me with no distractions at all. I might see you next Thursday and would enjoying hanging with you. I wanted you to come by on Saturday but my Saturdays this month are starting to look booked I know I have to shoot you but also wanted to just chill with you beyond the shoot. Well, you are at work slaving your life away. I will look for an intern for you so you can rest a bit. Can't wait to see you. Hope you have a great evening and don't work too much. A million hugs and kisses. I feel like have Nutella and Crepe right now. Damn it.

Two Months.

It is the 4th of July and the last time I posted something here was about two months. Time has passed and lot has passed this two months. I have a new car that I love so much and you have had two cars this months. I am working so far from home and you are enjoying the Independence day with your BF. Sorry I missed the BBQ yesterday. I have a shoot this wknd and waiting for the day that you will stand in front of my camera. Hurry up and get things ready so I can get you on film.

Who I love

I have been honest
The most honest I have been to myself or to anyone around me
I love you
And have loved you since I saw you on that Wednesday
I have carried with me
The understanding that something I said
a week after Wednesday has kept me in the side line.
I have hugged and brushed off my fear
for this reality we now share
Everyday,
Every waking day
I wait for the words 'Morning darling'
To appear so gracefully on my computer screen
The begining of my day
and a smile on my face.
My day is coming to an end
And I am about to shut my eyes
In hope that I will wake
With the thoughts of you
Randomly kissing my brain.

To be nice or not to be.

Things have been happening to me that have revealed how wonderful my life is. I still struggling to get the next few issues of my magazine out but the process is teaching me a lot. I am finding out the extent I will let myself go to accommodate the people in my life. I asked myself if I should started demanding a very clear amount of respect. But then it takes away from who I am. I need to find a balance between been nice and letting people take adavntage of my helpful character. I started my day looking through a window that reminded me that I am about to engage in something that would draw me closer to where I want to take my future. My hands got cold and wet but I was not nervous. There is a lot of left over confussion. I tried yesterday to be freinds with my ex but got spit in the face. Should I stop been nice to people just cause I have met a lot of pin heads who are trying to pull my emotions back to the being I have worked so hard to remove myself from. I am at work and I am half way to where I need to be for the day. Slowly and surely I will be able to head home.

Fall in and out of love

Forgot how I fall in and out of love with you sometimes.
Always have to remind myself that our fairy tale was never real.
As days go by, all our events came clear before my eyes
I failed to justify and I failed to understand

In the crowd of emptiness, eye to eye, we were confused with friendship and affection.
Relationship evolved without any guildance.
Changed for each other, was it for the best or for the worst?
Or love should come without fliterization and evolution?
How bitter it was for me to finally know you from never ever knowing you.
I had granted the name of your family without ever knowing you as one.
All your secrets has stoned my heart
On the drop of your key's sound, I swung the sword of wisdom and disrupted our path of eternal empty love.

I still talk to myself about how angry I am over you.
Could change you over time? How am I to live without my ideal mate?
You were my dream, you were my emptiness and you are my past.

horrified to see 3.5 yrs ago me

yes to see myself 3.5 years ago. hahaha very interesting
too bad it had been raining non stop for our suppose-to-be-glorious day
We can't shoot.
I am sick and so is the weather.
We'll recover, all well and sound soon
For you to capture the most beautiful me(even dou i look so crappy, esp when i have bronchitis)
Love you!

Might be more than 3.5yrs...

Now that I am thinking about it I am sure it is about 4years now. The last shoot we did was on my roof in EV. That was a long time sine I moved out of there. I need to get you in a dress. So dope that we are shooting again.